The Ball...!!

Recently I came across this poem... so aptly describing the agony and hell an amature golfer goes through... although it didn't improve my golfing skills a bit, it did inspire me to add my own $0.02 or should I say add "few more yards" to it... Enjoy!!

Original Vesion

The Ball

IN MY HAND I HOLD A BALL,
WHITE AND DIMPLED, RATHER SMALL.
OH, HOW BLAND IT DOES APPEAR,
THIS HARMLESS LOOKING LITTLE SPHERE.


BY IT'S SIZE I COULD NOT GUESS,
THE AWESOME STRENGTH IT DOES POSSESS.
BUT SINCE I FELL BENEATH ITS SPELL,
I'VE WANDERED THROUGH THE FIRES OF HELL.

MY LIFE HAS NOT BEEN QUITE THE SAME,
SINCE I CHOSE TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME.
IT RULES MY MIND FOR HOURS NO END,
A FORTUNE IT HAS MADE ME SPEND.

IT HAS MADE ME YELL, CURSE AND CRY,
I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE.
IT PROMISES A THING CALLED PAR,
IF I CAN HIT IT STRAIGHT AND FAR.

TO MASTER SUCH A TINY BALL,
SHOULD NOT BE VERY HARD AT ALL.
BUT MY DESIRES THE BALL REFUSES,
AND DOES EXACTLY AS IT CHOOSES.

IT HOOKS AND SLICES, DRIBBLES AND DIES,
AND EVEN DISAPPEARS BEFORE MY EYES.
OFTEN IT WILL HAVE A WHIM,
TO HIT A TREE OR TAKE A SWIM.

WITH MILES OF GRASS ON WHICH TO LAND,
IT FINDS A TINY PATCH OF SAND.
THEN HAS ME OFFERING UP MY SOUL,
IF ONLY IT WOULD FIND THE HOLE.

IT'S MADE ME WHIMPER LIKE A PUP,
AND SWEAR THAT I WILL GIVE IT UP.
AND TAKE TO DRINK TO EASE MY SORROW,
BUT THE BALL KNOWS ...I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW

- Unknown

My Addition (Pardon the Bravado!)

I try to get the ball off the tee
It only drops at 6 inches teasing ... 'hit me'
I flex my muscles, gruntle my teeth
Only to hit the firm ground underneath

But there comes a time while I am not aware
The ball in the First shot runs like a hare
It swoops out the bunker like a sparrow
And even goes a Ten feet with a Putter as an arrow

Accidents like these make me go more and more
Even with bruised ego and ankles so sore
I race to PVG or Hartland at once
Leaving an angry wife home ignoring her curse